Kabbalah School dropout Alex Rodriguez is planning to spend Thanksgiving with Madonna instead of his kids, who will be spending it with their mom and A-Rod’s estranged wife who left him because of his affair with the older Vadge.

Access Hollywood is reporting that Cynthia, who’s in the final stages of her divorce from A-Rod, wrote an e-mail to a confidant noting: “My 6-foot-3, 220-pound soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna . . . She called and he ran on her command back to New York City . . . Gross!”

British director Guy Ritchie is so anxious to get free of the evil clutches of Madonna that he’s willing to walk away with NOTHING - ziltch - zip - nada - from their divorce settlement. Britain’s Daily Mail claims that the settlement has been reached in London and that Vadge gets to keep all her beloved cash - which is estimated to be about $600 million.

The only thing the ‘RocknRolla’ director asked for is joint custody of his two boys, Rocco and David.

Just to show that she’s over it - but not REALLY OVER it - poor Jennifer Aniston is finally speaking out about her broken marriage to Brad Pitt who left her for Angelina Jolie. In an interview in the December 2008 issue of Vogue, Aniston allegedly told the magazine, “What Angelina did was very uncool.”

How polite! It’s almost a glimpse of her hurt feelings about what went down a couple of years ago when Brad played Mr Smith to Jolie’s Mrs Smith - and the two fell hard for one another.

So are they married or what? After yesterday’s election results, Californians decided to say no to same-sex marriage in their state and voted to make the unions constitutionally illegal. This, after about 16,000 couples got hitched in recent years. So what about the marriages of celebrity couples such as Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi who wed in August?

DeGeneres tried to put a brave face on the disappointment and quipped: “I can’t return the wedding gifts. I love my new toaster.”

Now here’s something you don’t hear every day: the college-age son of Hollywood actor Bill Pullman has been arrested in North Carolina for … wait for it … moonshining! You mean it’s still illegal to brew your own juice?

According to the AP, Jack Pullman, 19, and a buddy, Allen Gaddy, also 19, were charged with underage possession of alcohol and possession of non-tax paid liquor, or moonshine.

Joaquin Phoenix announced at a Paul Newman kids camp yesterday that he was quitting acting forever. No, man, he says he absolutely serious…that he wants to concentrate on “his music.” Uh, what music?

“I want to take this opportunity … to give you the exclusive and just talk a little bit about the fact that this will be my last performance as an actor,” the two-time Oscar nominee told Extra. “I’m not doing films anymore.”

Tragic news to start the weekend: Idol singer and actress Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother Jason were both shot and killed on Chicago’s South Side earlier today. Details are still murky, but reports are that it was a cousin who lived nearby discovered the bodies.

TMZ is reporting that Chicago police have put out an all points bulletin looking for Jennifer’s seven year old nephew, who is now missing. They believe he may have been kidnapped.

The late actor and soul singer Isaac Hayes was deep into Scientology during the final years of his life - so deep in fact that he actually quite his ‘South Park’ Chef’s voice gig when the show made fun of Tom Cruise.

But it was revealed this week that Hayes didn’t show any love in his will to the cult church which makes it’s billions of dollars by sucking dry the bank accounts of its celebrities and other wealthy followers.

Whatever went down between William Shatner and George Takei on the set of the original 60’s TV series “Star Trek” - it ain’t ova yet. The Boston Legal star says he is disappointed and bitter that Takei, whom he has know for 40 years, didn’t invite him to his same-sex wedding to partner Brad Altman in September.

In a recent video interview, Shats says, “The whole thing makes me feel badly. The poor man, there’s such a sickness there. It’s so patently obvious that there’s a psychosis there. I don’t know what his original thing about me was; I have no idea. I didn’t read his book that was printed many years ago but apparently I didn’t let somebody have a close -up.”

It didn’t take long for sordid details of life with Madonna to emerge after it was announced days ago that Guy Ritchie has finally grown a pair and is getting a divorce from the Material Girl. It sounds like Madonna is willing to pay him millions of dollars just to be done with it - and to keep him from telling the world about her weird lifestyle.

So what’s next? Madonna says she loves England (so much so she adopted a fake British accent) and vows to stay but she’s also spending more time in Manhattan to be closer to A-Rod. Would the midwestern girl next adopt a fake Brooklyn accent? Albeit, temporarily? Remember, Vadge, New Yorkers pronounce “Long Island” as “Lung Guylin.”