What do you call a 48-year-old woman who tapes heroin to her body to get through airport security? Mackenzie Phillips! The troubled actress who starred on “One Day at a Time” back in the day was arrested on Wednesday on suspicion of possession of a controlled substance.

LAX airport police responded to Terminal 4, where Phillips was screened by surly TSA agents looking for illegal nail clippers, baby formula, eye drops stuff and was found to be in possession of 4 baggies and balloons of heroin and cocaine.